It’s been a few weeks since
I’ve written anything, this is partially due to business of starting a new
semester, and partially due to the fact that nothing has struck me as writeable
lately. However recent developments in a friend’s old (and terribly unhealthy)
relationship, a new job I quit a day later (that’s a story in itself), and a
few odd weekends, my life has once again returned to just as quirky as last
semester.
I thought I was ready to
return the life of a restaurant worker when this semester started, mostly
because I am extra-broke, meaning more broke than usual; however I tricked
myself, typical. The lure of free-flowing waitress cash led me to a new
restaurant in Santa Barbara last Saturday night. I also tricked myself into
thinking I was ready to handle another awful boss, throwback to my senior year
of high school working under an insecure, power thriving, passive aggressive
Spanish chef with a tendency to cry and make my life miserable. The man
interviewing me from this new restaurant reminded me creepily much of this
woman from my authority-issue years, with his broken English, bossy nature, and
excellent food creating skills. After starting a night at this new restaurant
and finding out you cannot serve alcohol in California until you are 21 (18 in
Washington), and therefore waitress at all under 21, I realized I was not ready
to again sacrifice all my free time for this free-flowing cash. After an
awkward phone call explaining why it simply was not a good fit for me to
continue to train there, when I really just hated the boss and wanted more
money than I was going to make, I returned to my peculiar nannying job. Let me
rephrase that; I thought I returned to my nannying job. I got a phone call two
days later letting me know that the family would like me for different days of
the week. I have yet to figure out what other days those are or when else I can
fit some crazy kiddos into my crazy nerdy lab schedule. For now, I have no
expected income, a dwindling bank account, and some faith that the Big Man
Upstairs is going to make something happen.
While I was sitting through
an exceptionally long church service this morning about interpretation of the
bible, my mind wandered (oops) to interpreting situations. As shown by many
statistics, two people can watch an incident and each walk away with a
different perception of the same happening. Recognizing, understanding, and
respecting that other’s past and identity shape even current interpretation of
life is a profound social skill. However this post is not about social
interactions, nor is it about respecting the perspective of others; it is
instead about learning your own perspective. Your unique perspective
significantly shapes your reaction to every day interactions, and most
importantly, life’s most difficult situations.
The measure of a strong
person is not how they carry out every day actions, but instead how they
respond to being stressed and stretched. Part of life is dealing with
situations we would like to opt out of but fortunately (yes I meant fortunately)
we cannot, consequently shaping the strong into stronger, and exposing the weak
as quitters. Tying one’s perspective into a strong person, I think you have a
choice as to how you face these difficult situations. In the storm of a hard
time, no matter one’s past influence on current perspective, one has a choice
as to how he or she responds the situation. You have control over your
perspective. I would encourage all that are facing a difficult situation to
choose to conquer.
A few things I realized
today: Celicia (my car, see previous posts for an explanation for her difficult
life) is older than most of my friends (DOB circa 1990). She is a little
hyperactive, revving up non-stop in neutral. I have yet to make the sign to
stick to my window saying, “No, sorry, I don’t want to race you, my car just
sucks that bad”. On one hand, I have a $600 car that could break down any
moment, sucking gas, and embarrassing me on a daily basis. On another hand I
have no car payments, cheap insurance, and a way to get around with relatively
good gas mileage. In someone’s eyes (occasionally my own), I am drowning in
student loan debt, pinching pennies, all for some form of what America calls
education right now. However, I am choosing to take the chance to pursue my
dream of being a doctor, learning lessons such as how to work hard, picking up
a few social skills at college, and making some friendships I hope last until I
stop breathing one day.
Life is never easy, if you
think it is no one likes you and you don’t know it. Grab this beautifully
difficult life by the ears and say, “I’m going to show you what I’m made of”. Good
luck finding life’s ears. Just kidding, that’s all hypothetical. Recognize your
perspective on life; be thankful for the lessons you take away from the most
difficult days, and never stop counting your blessings. No one feels like they
have everything, but in truth you have everything you need if you let it be all
you need.
